Backing down and coming out

    It was heartening to read that the world's most famous atheist professor Richard Dawkins is only 6.9 out of 7 sure there is no God and denies he is atheistic. Billions of people worldwide have believed in the existence of God and billions probably will after him, yet here we had two academics 'battling' it out (Rowan Williams) in tv debate where no new punches were pulled and I suspect it was mainly intellectual one-upmanship.

     Then I learn that Lord Melvyn Bragg has come out about his depression. I first wrote about my own autobiographical novel 'Glass Wall' (now 'Missing Jean') over fifteen years ago and depression has largely sapped my energy to get it published! Macmillan publishing was interested but then said it wasn't quite their bag. I have come to the conclusion that only those who have suffered the terrifying depths can understand it and many fear it is a plague that could knock on heir own front door so shun its existence. It is not something one would wish on one's worst enemy and is sure to chase away all but your very closest friends. 

    As Bragg says it is an elastic term and for some an excuse not to go into work and a form of negative self pity. What is important is trying to cope with it and hang on to the extremely fine straw of hope that things will ever change and improve. One strategy I have tried that works to a degree is to make a friend of my enemy depression on the basis that if I can't fight or change it I can try to accept it. Going to bed and surrendering to it is in a way, for me at least, a way of letting nature heal as the worst of the storm can pass by sleeping it off but at other times it makes it worse. Nutrients, exercise and laughter can help and watching a Charlie Chaplin movie can take the sting out of the terrifying silence of isolation which is a major cause of depression.

      I read today Esther Rantzen's soul-bearing piece about prolonged isolation after the loss of a loved one on the MailOnline and she is particularly brave because if you are famous you meet even more hostility if you challenge our odd taboos. But we are still living in the Dark Ages and the problem ain't goin away. If you've got a broken leg you get it fixed and everybody signs the plastercast but if you have a broken mind (which probably mean a broken heart as well) then you walk alone!