A good O Level man

           I heard in the news that the Education minister wants to take us is back to Fifties Britain and somebody mentioned that GCE O levels are for clever children. Oh no, not what I recall. When I was at school I scraped five O levels on the first hit and another two on the resit. I actually failed O level Woodwork but got 85% a term later and two terms later grade A at A level (normally a two year course). I put that down to the woodwork teacher being sacked and an excellent completely eccentric but inspiring woodwork teacher taking over. However, sport and woodwork were what I excelled at. I felt pretty stupid generally and my sixth form classmates went on to University. I think you needed five O levels to get into Sixth form. Nowadays you will more likely get into university if you played with Transformers (killing machines) in your childhood.  It does seem that anybody can get to university so I am inclined to believe that standards were much higher in my youth. But more than that, there was a sense of history that was part of general knowledge that has been lost today. Churchill is an insurance company and the colour of Cheryl Cole's knickers is general knowledge.

         Curiously the words GCE O level triggered a memory - a few years (decades) ago I applied to be a part-time tutor at a prestigious furniture college in Dorset, made famous because one of its students was a nephew to the Queen. At the interview a psychologist had been hired! I remember during my written examination (!) him jangling with coins in his pocket which was making me feel nervous. He came over and criticised the way I held my pen in my left hand. I am left-handed as many creative people are! Later at what I can only describe as an intimidating interview he suddenly announced 'I see you haven't stated your grades at O level on your application form'. I was completely stunned by this and being the gentleman I am, I refrained from saying 'Oh I'm sorry I didn't realise you were looking for a good O level man' and promptly getting up and walking out. My highly accomplished artist sister (Barbara Broun) later suggested that is exactly what I should have done. The fact that I had won numerous regional and national awards since school seemed to slip the psychologist's attention! 

     When you look at the careers of people such as the late Paul Ghetty (once the richest man in the world), Lord Stokes (who was tea boy but became SEO of British Leyland) and Alan Sugar, one is reminded of the saying:

'Examinations are for failures'.
    
   

Which Commandment?

    Busking with my guitar late last evening I clashed with another street performer who does a 'Funny Walk' act in my home city reigning in a lot of people and also a lot of money every evening. When I say 'clash' I mean I had to stop playing my guitar to tourists sitting outside a cafe as this guy suddenly appeared to do his ten minute hilarious(?) jokes expecting to me to be brushed aside. I was actually there first! Dancing to my music was a Columbian guy I know who happens to be a devout Christian. He thought this other street entertainer was extremely rude (a view echoed later on by some of the cafe punters who spoke with us) to expect me to suddenly stop my guitar playing that they were enjoying.

     My friend then listened to the funny guy's jokes around the Abbey poking fun at the carved figure of Jesus Christ as being gay to which my friend was extremely offended and went up to the entertainer and told him he was being blasphemous and anti the Bible etcetera. I may not share my friend's fundamentalist views but I do respect his right to object to some cheap laugh a second offending his religion. This religion, actually, that is called Christianity has been the core religion of our nation historically and offers a humanistic code of behaviour that arguably, because it is now so fashionable to attack Christianity, is in demise and I believe is part of the breakdown in British society and certainly the abandonment of many decent values. As yet we have nothing better to replace it. No wonder the East call us decadent.  

    Curiously had this entertainer delivered his jokes in many Arab countries he would have been publicly stoned rather than rewarded. I don't go to Church anymore and have my own private views/uncertainties about whether there is a God or not but it is sad there is a lack of respect which clearly this street entertainer failed to have for a fellow street entertainer. I didn't actually mind stopping playing for ten minutes. The guy might have slipped me a fiver as a tip for the inconvenience but I guess the word 'greed' would have no currency with someone who mocks Christianity!  

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Krays had a mum

     Yes, Britain's legendary gangsters had a mum and anyone watching the film on television this evening would see the power of a mum. Without a mum you face a world blindfolded; a long and silent journey where you find your own path and hear just your own screams when you lose your way.

     Paradoxically in the film the mum teaches her boys not to fight each other but to stick together and fight 'them' out there. Without their mum reprimanding them for knocking the shit out of each other in a boxing ring - I mean without a mum at all, how would life have panned out for them? Why is the mum (played by Billie Whitelaw) actually the central character in the film? Perhaps it is neither here nor there that the mum of the Krays' is so powerful and that only I perceive it as such because I had no mum and I fought the world with bare knuckles on my own. I took some bruisings but cannot ever recall losing a fight. The number of times I would plead with an aggressor who was provoking me and presumably thought I was easy meat, to back off, not because I was scared of them but scared of my own strength fuelled by a deep rage that they had a mum and I didn't.  

    Only once did I ever walk away from a fight when two thugs picked on me and a mate when we were about 30 years old because we were 'posh'. My mate, who grew up in Hong Kong with knives on the street, raised his fists but I grabbed him and yelled 'run'. I knew in a split second by the look in these guys' eyes they would have killed us. It is all in the eyes and nothing to do with size. Some times in life you perservere and fight (other people's battles as well) and other times you just walk away.