Okay I put my hands up and admit I have been dyeing my hair for a while. But who cares a sh.., I've been at the invisible age for a few years now and all of a sudden people in the street are calling me sir (a real sign of old age). Well I'm half joking but we are instantly judged by appearance. The first few days was hell (such vanity) but to my surprise I actually quite like it white and a few friends have said I actually look younger. What! How kind one's friends are but the real truth is I would have continued dyeing my hair as it makes me feel younger, but there are some nasty chemicals in hair dyes that don't do the internals a lot of good and so I made my choice, I hope not too late.
Increasing numbers of women are using Botox and go under the knife and some only in their thirties. Iv'e been 48 for several years now and the fact is I am very young for my age, no lines (even if a few scowels) but pretty fit and engaging in sport and I am still remarkably quick on the badminton court and ride fast motorbikes.
Reaching the invisible age was one of life's major blows, far worse than losing an important job or even relationship breakup! I'm now probably slightly more invisible to attractive women who I used to catch the eye of without trying up until the age of about 47! I looked about 32 then so I was often told. But it catches up, it gets you in the end and really its even harder for women with all the pressures to look young, slim and beautiful!
My only defense for this Peter Pan outlook is I was terrified of becoming an adult and felt the pressure to conform, marry, have kids etc. in my thirties and it would have been a disaster if I had conformed because I don't think I know how to (no mum to teach me). I have not followed the conventional life path. The moment childrearing kicks in and the dust settles and you find yourself out in the cold as everything is geared to bringing up kids, you do become invisible and not part of the club. I hadn't realised that when women gave me the eye it was all part of the biological imperative, not just cheeky flirting!
A man with a lumberjack shirt perhaps in his sixties (who's name was Ron) at a Woodworking show 20 years ago was in a queue to consult me as I was there as a router expert demonstrating the tool that I put on the UK map. When his turn came he quietly said to me 'the wife bought me a router last Christmas but I've been afraid to take it out of the box'. For some unexplained reason my reply to him was 'Now I image you are married, yes? and that you're not just a father but a grandfather, yes?' And he nodded. 'Well isn't life strange' I added 'because you probably got married as a young man as easy as falling off a log but I was terrified to do that when I had my chances, yet with the router I am totally fearless and it is the most creative tool in the world'!
The author of The Incredible Router about ten years ago
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