As if having no mother and yet living in a family dominated by females is not confusing enough, to have an older sister with such stunning beauty and charismatic personality was bound to influence me profoundly.
I grew up not understanding what male chauvenism meant as women to me always got their way. Of course it was a slightly jaundiced a view (both right and wrong) but with an older sister like Jill she just had to click her fingers and the men came running. 'Just watch me' she said when we were in the Traverse bar in Edinburgh where she lived. She must have been about 22 and I was an innocent 18 year old. 'I'm going to walk up to the bar and take out a cigarette' she whispered to me. 'Just watch that man come over and light it'. She did and he did. Later I said 'Jill, you make me sick' and yet I had a strange admiration for her. I think Jill was probably my female model as I seemed to be drawn to women like her.
My sister Jill aged 17
Jill had a great sense of fun but above all compassion and understanding of people and it was no accident that eventually her stunning beauty and personality would land her up as hostess in the most exclusive nightclub in London in the 60's. She was a protected girl as she lived with the boss's son in a rosewood panelled flat in Mayfair. She knew professional footballers, politicians and members of the Royal family. She dated Mick Jagger, Bert Janch and turned down a threesome with Jimi Hendrix. In the mid 70's she married Gerry Conway, the drummer of Fotheringay. Jill (known as Veronica Jill Conway) became a close friend of their lead singer Sandy Denny, (voted best British female singer in 1971). Gerry, also acknowledged as one of the best drummers in the world, joined the Cat Stevens band and they lived in LA. However, their marriage ended over there and Jill became a declared Christian and returned to England landing up on the Island of Mull and then moved to Manchester, always helping down and out people.
Jill had a truly generous nature but materially had nothing and tragically died rather quickly having been diagnosed with liver cancer in 2009. She had had a cancer scare a decade or so earlier and had telephoned me and only then did I realize how my dear sister had been insecure all her life. Beauty comes at a cost.
We never had the love of a mother and in a way Jill and I followed a similar path. She once told me 'You could have any woman you want' and I recall replying 'Maybe, but I don't know how to keep them'. Once, when I taught in Bristol she was visiting me and I took her to a teachers' party. 'Let's liven this up and dance' she whispered 'and pretend we are incestuous'. She was a good actress and I rose to the challenge. The staffroom was buzzing with gossip the next week.
I miss my dear sister Jill even though we had terrible rows, we survived a disfunctional start in life and she was the only person who ever described my mother to me. She told me 'she adored being around mummy' and was 4 when Jean died. I don't think she ever recovered either.
I visited Jill on her deathbed in 2009 and she cried as we hugged. 'I'll be waiting for you' she said. My sister Jill was one of life's legendary characters and I miss her kind warm voice on the telephone.
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